英语笑话本站共收录英语笑话129篇

铁棒磨成针

有一财主想娶一百个老婆,可管家对他说了一句话,他就打消了这念头,你猜管家说什么——铁棒磨成针 ...

英语笑话 2020-09-02 21:40:33 赞(46) 阅读(945)

很欠打的损人短息

1、 很久墨收到你的信息 俺很心疼 俺想到死 曾用薯片割过脉 用豆腐撞过头 用降落伞跳过楼 用面条上过吊 可都墨死成 你就请俺吃顿饭 撑死俺算了 2、 如果感到心里挖凉挖凉的,请拨打俺的电话!谈感情请按1,谈工作请按2,谈人生请按3,给俺介绍对象请按5,请俺吃饭请直说,找俺借钱请挂机。 3、 你都长大了,有些事应该让你知道了:天,是用来刮风下雨的;地,是用来长花长草的;我,是用来证明人类是多伟大的;你是用来炖粉条的。 4、 钱可以买房子但买不到家,能买到婚姻但买不到爱,可以买到钟表但买不到时间,...

英语笑话 2020-09-17 22:00:56 赞(23) 阅读(2647)

最有创意的骚扰短信排行榜

  no.1 最无聊的骚扰短信  没事!没事!没事!没事!没事!没事!没事!  没事!没事!没事!没事!没事!没事!没事!  就跟你说没事了你还按个屁啊!  no.2 最气人的骚扰短信  听说你被拐卖,真的把我吓坏,你虽从小痴呆,却对社会无害,谁人如此大胆,竟敢拿你去卖,我真替他担心,卖得掉才怪!  no.3 最搞笑的骚扰短信  “妈,我13岁了,我要戴胸罩。”“不行。”“我要用卫生巾。”“也不行。”&ldq...

英语笑话 2020-09-09 10:26:54 赞(19) 阅读(1456)

Grocery shopping

amanobservedawomaninthegrocerystorewithathreeyearoldgirlinherbasket.astheypassedthecookiesection,thechildaskedforcookiesandhermothertoldher"no."thelittlegirlimmediatelybegantowhineandfuss,andthemothersaidquietly,"nowellen,wejusthavehalfoftheaisleslef...

英语笑话 2020-09-02 09:53:03 赞(77) 阅读(2155)

Guests for dinner

thefollowingisatruestory.therewasthislittlekidwhohadabadhabitofsuckinghisthumb.hismotherfinallytoldhimthatifhedidn‘tstopsuckinghisthumb,he‘dgetfat.twoweekslater,hismotherhadherfriendsoverforagameofbridge.theboypointstoanobviouslypregnantwomanandsays,...

英语笑话 2020-09-08 22:19:07 赞(32) 阅读(1127)

Not a dancer

aladywenttoapetshoptobuyaparakeet.sheaskedtheclerkforabirdthatcouldsing.themansoldheraparakeet,andshetookithome.there,sheexaminedthebirdandfoundoutithadabrokenleg.shereturnedtothestorewiththebirdandtoldtheclerkthatthebirdhadabrokenleg."lady,"heanswer...

英语笑话 2020-08-19 01:48:38 赞(77) 阅读(1459)

Humor about retirement

oldfootballplayersneverdie,theyjustgototheendzoneoldfootballersneverdie,theyjustkickthebucketoldforestersneverdie,theyjustpineawayoldfridgerepairmenneverdie,theyjustblowtheircoololdfrogsneverdie,theyjustcroakoldfruitneverdie,itjustpear-ishesoldgarage...

英语笑话 2020-10-17 11:33:54 赞(24) 阅读(686)

France Jokes

q:didyouhearaboutthefrenchmanwhojumpedintotheriverinparis?a:hewasdeclaredtobeinseine.------------------------------------------------------------fredwassayinghisprayersashisfatherpassedbyhisbedroomdoor."godblessmommy,andgodblessdaddy,andpleasemakecal...

英语笑话 2020-08-16 08:54:19 赞(74) 阅读(854)

He told me to see you

doctor:andwhomdidyouconsultaboutyourillnessbeforeyoucametome?patient:onlythedruggistdownatthecorner.doctor:andwhatsortofridiculousadvicedidhegaveyou?patient:hetoldmetoseeyou! ...

英语笑话 2020-09-11 22:00:00 赞(67) 阅读(1295)

High and low voice

"canyouexplaintomewhatthedifferenceisbetweenahigh-pitchedandlow-pitchedvoice?""ahigh-pitchedvoiceiswhenmyfatherscoldsme;alow-pitchedvoiceiswhenmyfatherspeakswithhisboss." ...

英语笑话 2020-10-01 07:55:03 赞(81) 阅读(910)

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