From: office Manager
To: all staff
Subject: upgarde of computer system
As our computer system need to be upgraded, we have arranged the contarctors to upgrade the them [1]on Wedesday. On that day all computers should be shutted down for a full day, so you need arrange some alternative work for that day.
名师修改意见:
[1]第一: 不要重复使用前面已经用过的词;第二:指代错误,前面说的system 是单数,怎么到这里变成了them? 合成一句:as we have arranged the contractor to upgrade our computer system.
本期作文题目:
Formulate a smoking policy for your office which is fair to both smokers and nonsmokers. Write a 40-50 word memo informing all staff of the policy.
提示:
我们需要确定,如果我是公司职员,我要在这篇memo中获得什么信息?是不是要知道:
1.新的吸烟政策从什么时候开始;
2.吸烟区划定在什么地方?
TO: All Employees
FROM: CEO, Willan Smith
SUBJECT: NEW SMOKING POLICY
For all the employees, especially smokers,[1] plz be aware that our company’s new smoking policy has been formulated as follow: A main smoking area’s going to be restricted before Next MONDAY[2], anyone is not allowed to smoker in non-smoking zone even in the washing room.[3]
Plz target the smoking and non-smoking area and stick to the company’s new policy.[4]
Thx.
名师指导:
[1]去掉,抬头已经写过给所有的员工,所以直接从正文开始就行了,费这个事干什么?
[2]时间不确切,最好是 from next Monday. Before 这个期限是什么时候?如果不能给出确切信息,就不要说,还不如换成具体的吸烟区域更好: be restricted to the room next to the toilet.
[3]你经常在洗手间吸烟吗?或者你们公司有这样的同事?把这句话去掉。
[4]添加:to ensure that it is fair to all of you.
