From: office manager

To: all staff

Subject: the company system

I would like to notify you that [1]the computer system of our company’s will be shut down on this Tuesday for a whole day long [2]on account of the system needs a upgrade.[3]Therefore, please taking notice of this event in advance, in case of some potential inconveniences and troubles on Tuesday, yet prepare alternative work for that day. [4]

Thank you.[5]

名师修改意见：

[1]去掉这个开头，直接用被动语态开头。

[2]去掉，多余了。

[3]如果你不能保证用长复句可以表达清楚，那么建议换成短句吧。拆成几个短句也许表达更贴切呢。

[4]这句话看起来非常不清楚，主语在哪里?please 的后面是吗?改成：please make sure that you have prepared alternative work.

[5]另换一行